Fatty Parry 7: Week 0

fattyparry_beforeafter_newedit

Not massively successful on the not-being-a-fat-b*stard-front, so I’m changing tack a bit.

My research suggests a healthy weight loss is 1-2lbs a week (one side affect of rapid weight loss is hair loss!). I am currently 15st 13lbs (223lbs). I want to get down to 13 stone (182lbs) which is what personal experience, and the doctor(!), tell me is a healthy weight for my height.

So, that’s around forty pounds to lose at a rate of two per week: twenty weeks to reach my target weight. Week by week, that breaks down like this:

(0) 27 July: 15st 13lbs (223lbs)
(1) 3 August: 15st 11lbs (221lbs)
(2) 10 August: 15st 9lbs (219lbs)
(3) 17 August: 15st 7lbs (217lbs)
(4) 24 August: 15st 5lbs (215lbs)
(5) 31 August: 15st 3lbs (213lbs)
(6) 7 September: 15st 1lb (211lbs)
(7) 14 September: 14st 13lbs (209lbs)
(8) 21 September: 14st 11lbs (207lbs)
(9) 28 September: 14st 9lbs (205lbs)
(10) 5 October: 14st 7lbs (203lbs)
(11) 12 October: 14st 5lbs (201lbs) **wedding day weight; first major goal**
(12) 19 October: 14st 3lbs (199lbs) **MY BIRTHDAY**
(13) 26 October: 14st 1lb (197lbs)
(14) 2 November: 13st 13lbs (195lbs)
(15) 9 November: 13st 11lbs (193lbs)
(16) 16 November: 13st 9lbs (191lbs)
(17) 23 November: 13st 7lbs (189lbs) **NHS BMI Chart and Calculator**
(18) 30 November: 13st 5lbs (187lbs)
(19) 7 December: 13st 3lbs (185lbs)
(20) 14 December: 13st 1lb (183lbs)

Obviously, your weight will fluctuate in any case, so updating you guys every week wouldn’t be productive. And let’s face it, flooding my blog with posts about how fat I am isn’t going to appeal. So I’ll keep to updating “Fatty Parry” every few weeks or so.

© 2015 Bryan A. J. Parry

Time Flies

SNN1115NICK-_1847786a

So I was reading The Mail the other day.

Just wait a second! I hate The Mail. It is absolute trash. But someone had left it lying about on the tube, and I had already finished reading The Metro The Independent, The Guardian, The Times, and The Telegraph. So I needed something, anything to keep my eyes from awkwardly meeting another commuter’s and running the risk of actually having to speak to someone.

My eyes skipped over a page. I did a double take. What was that!? Former Prime Minister Tony Blair’s youngest son, 29, had got hitched.

What on earth? But Tony Blair’s son is a boy(!) Twenty-nine? I don’t understand.

I sat there for a few moments trying to calculate if it was even biologically possible for Tony Blair to have a 29 year old son.

Then the pieces slowly began to slot together in my mind. Tony Blair left office eight years ago! He was made PM 18 years ago! …Children.. grow up!

For the first time in my life, I felt a twinge of being old.

© 2015 Bryan A. J. Parry

featured image from http://img.thesun.co.uk/aidemitlum/archive/01847/SNN1115NICK-_1847786a.jpg

Game of Thrones is Worse than Crack

gameofthrones5

Game of Thrones Season 5 only finished a month ago. Yet I am in withdrawal. No hyperbole. My belly is in knots, I can’t sleep at night, I’m even more pale and clammy than usual. I want Season 6 so badly, it physically hurts; I may even be developing an ulcer.

And it’s still almost a whole year to wait until Season 6. How am I going to survive for a year!?

But a thought just squelched its way into my GoT-starved mind.

There are fifty episodes so far. There are fifty-two weeks in a year…

I’m talking synergy, people!!

*dances to couch humming the theme tune*

© 2015 Bryan A. J. Parry

featured image from http://admin.bol.it/images/external/contenuti/gameofthrones5.jpg

Game of Thrones Season 5 Thoughts [SPOILERS!!!]

gameofthrones5

I’m a massive fan of the show Game of Thrones. Yet despite being a bookworm, I’m not ashamed to say I haven’t read the books. I just don’t have time or the staying-power for 1,770,000 words (and counting). But maybe it’s a good thing I haven’t read them; I’m coming to the series with fresh eyes.

Season 5 finished last night. Summing it up in a single word is easy: bleak. Depressing works quite well, too.

Whereas in previous seasons the characters were able to carve out small green spaces for themselves in a vast desert wilderness — be it the “normal” loving family moments in the Stark household, the nobles all getting behind the true “King in the North”, or the tender love affairs such as Tyrion and Shea’s — this season is just dark, dark, bleak, dark, depressing, gloomy, and dark.

It may be Season 5 of a probable 8, but I feel that only now are we well and truly into Act II: all the characters we’re rooting for (those who still have their heads, that is) are at their lowest ebb, it would appear. And winter is almost come.

More good guys are dead, loss of purpose and morale for others, rape of innocents, child sacrifice, favourite characters going blind or catching incurable diseases, and a general sense that everything is pretty much effed up.

But the most depressing thing about Game of Thrones Season 5 is: I have to wait a whole year for Season 6!!

© 2015 Bryan A. J. Parry

featured image from http://admin.bol.it/images/external/contenuti/gameofthrones5.jpg

Why Is God Obsessed With Hair?

allah_names_with_english

God Almighty, the Alpha and Omega, the Omniscient, the Omnipotent Creator, the Exceedingly Beneficent, the Gentle, the Boundless, He Who Is Able To Do Anything, the Supremely Exalted, the Lord of Majesty and Generosity, the Owner of All Sovereignty, &c.

Those titles (and many more) are His, and nobody can doubt their accuracy (for it is written).

So here’s a question for the religious amongst us, given God’s undoubted perfection:

Why is God the Magnificent and Super Duper Excellent (etc.) so obsessed with… hair?

Sikhs can’t cut their hair. To protect it, they wrap it in a turban. And they grow their beards their whole life. If you’re a woman and really want to show how holy you are, you too can wear a turban!

Muslim men also must display a beard. But shaving off the ‘tache is fine. Conversely, Muslim women need to cover their head hair, and any beard they grow is irrelevant to the glorification of God. Male hair = good, female hair = bad??

Christians have to cover their hair in church — but only the women!

Jewish men grow beards, like Muslims, and Jewish women must cover their hair in Synogogue, like Christians. But Hasidic Jewish women shave their hair off and put on a wig. Jewish men must grow curly, long sideburns. They also need to cover their hair! …But only the crown (I think this is more to cover the bald spot).

Rastafarians must mat their hair into dreadlocks. The holiest type is where all of the hair has matted into one long lock.

Aren’t there more pressing moral issues than how to display or conceal one’s hair? Things such as rape (Gen 19:5-8), child abuse (2 Kings 2:23-24), genocide (1 Sam 15:2-8, 15:18-19), oppression of gay people (Lev 20:13), and so on. And grown-ups mutilating the genitals of helpless children, because God commanded them to (Gen 17:10-11).

So again, I ask: given the multiplicity of problems that beset mankind, problems that seem to be on the exponential increase:

Why the hell is God so obsessed with hair?

Over to you, people of God.

© 2015 Bryan A. J. Parry

featured image from https://quran2hadith.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/allah_names_with_english.jpeg

Boycott Qatar 2022

venturesonsite-qatar-2022-worldcup

I’ve been calling for this for a while now, but the events of the last few days are making it clear to all: England must boycott the Qatar 2022 FIFA world cup.

The bidding process was a shambles. And even if it was all above board, the concept of hosting a world cup in Qatar is absurd. This nation has no footballing infrastructure or culture, almost 90% of the population is foreign-born workers, and slave labour is being used to build the stadiums: an unprecedented 1200+ people have already died.

Worse still, Qatar’s bid was for a summer world cup. FIFA has now changed this to winter. So let’s forget the chaos that a winter world cup will wreak on domestic football. The point is that FIFA has moved the goalposts. Qatar’s bid was for one thing, yet now they will be delivering something else — all with FIFA sanction. This is unfair. Either host it in the Summer as per the bid, and let the dangerous fiasco unfold, or put the tournament up for a rebid again. A precedent exists: the 1986 world cup in Columbia ended up being moved to Mexico.

England should boycott Qatar 2022 and take part in our own “Friendship Cup” involving any nation that wants to join us — perhaps even a one-off revival of the Home Nations Championship. And if UEFA can be big enough to boycott FIFA, then I suggest a special (summer) edition of the European Championships in 2022. The major European footballing nations all have the ability to put on such a major event as we already have all of the relevant infrastructure.

I would hate to see football split as boxing has been, with several “world champions” strutting around. But I doubt that will ever occur. We need to stand up to FIFA and say “enough is enough!” England, as the nation which gave the world the beautiful game, should take the lead. I look forward to the World Friendship Cup in 2022, even if it means England might be squaring off against San Marino, Gibraltar, and East Timor.

© 2015 Bryan A. J. Parry

featured image from http://footyjuice.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/venturesonsite-qatar-2022-worldcup.jpg