Somaliland Petition: Outcome


My official petition to make the British government officially recognise Somaliland’s independence has now closed. It didn’t quite get the 100,000 signatures required for an obligatory government response; it got 611.

But it’s not all doom and gloom. That 611 represents more than the combined signatories to all other Somaliland petitions put together.* So, when set against the 100,000 target, 611 is indeed a dismal failure; but when set against the past Somaliland petitions, 611 is an outstanding success — literally the best there has ever been. So I am both proud, and deeply disappointed.

So where from here? But first, why bother?

I do not have Somali family or any real interest in Somalia or Somaliland itself. I have no ulterior or selfish reasons for my campaigning on this. Rather, I am passionate about national liberal democracy: that a world organised according to a brotherhood of sovereign nations thoroughly exercising liberal democracy is the best and only way for a moral and free world to thrive and function. This view is grounded in the notion that all peoples have a right to exercise their freedom and join the brotherhood of soveriegn nations if they so choose. Somaliland to me represents a fairly non-controversial and unequivocal example of this principle. And our continued refusal to recognise Somaliland not only goes against the principles I just outlined, but it thoroughly jeopardises the democracy that Somaliland is building. Thus, the failure to support Somaliland by way of recognising its independence and all which that entails not only is morally wrong from a theoretical standpoint, but it is also an error given practical and pragmatic considerations.

But for more context and explanation, see here for my previous Doggerelizer article on the subject, and see here for the official government petition’s page.

So where from here?

Simple. I continue to campaign for national liberal democracy. Perhaps this time focusing on a different nation which may appeal to more people. And I will keep the fight for the recognition of Somaliland going. I will keep you all informed.

© 2015 Bryan A. J. Parry


The Good Life (POEM)


I wrote this poem as being explicitly Epicurean. I view it as the younger, crapper brother of my other poem On Reading Ecclesiastes 3:19-21 Again. I read it on my YouTube channel here.


Bryan A. J. Parry

Send me a pot of cheese
That I, on special days,
May feast if I so please.
But on the everyday,
Crackers, unbuttered bread,
Keep hunger well at bay;
And knowing this brings joy
That will not dim or cloy.

I do not fear the sky,
It’s only atoms, air,
So really, why would I?
The Gods don’t lie in wait
To strike from clouds with bolts
Then sprint off with Giants’ gait;
And knowing this is strength
That lasts my whole lifes length.

Is Death a thing to fear?
Was pre-conception woe?
Nope, death ain’t worth one tear.
But death of friends is pain,
Oh yes, but thank luck you met,
They now indwell your brain;
And knowing this is calm
Remembrance the mind’s own balm.

The dreadful things in life
Infirmity, disease,
Are not fantastic strife:
If long, they ebb and flow,
If short, they soon have passed,
Both ways it’s finite woe.
And knowing this cures fear
Since relief is ever near.

But now it comes to mind,
The foremost thing to do
Is love the life you find;
It’s the only life you’ve got,
You’ll never have another,
So waste not your precious lot;
Don’t rue what you dont own
Most men have greater plights to moan.

So before I drift away to never wake,
Heed my final words, for Goodness Sake!
Sing, dance, embrace your life,
Eat, drink, enjoy your wife.


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© 2010 – 2014 Bryan A. J. Parry

Fatty Parry 4: Mission Impossible (Day 21 of 35)


I was given 30 days to lose 30lbs and get back to my wedding weight of 14st 5lb. Why? Because of a photoshoot (don’t ask). That’s now been extended to 35 days! Today is day 21 of 35.

See my previous posts on the subject here:
Fatty Parry 1, Fatty Parry 2, Fatty Parry 3.


Another ridiculously long working week (6 days of 14 hours each) has stopped me working out as hard as I would like. But I have been working out extra hard when I do get the chance.

My food has not been perfect, but it’s been marginally better.

This is serious, now. There can be no more mucking around. If I am at work, I must do half an hour in the work gym. And I must control my cravings for cr*ppy food.


On Day 1 I was 16st 7lb. Now, on Day 21, I am 16st 3lbs. If I was on target, I would now be 15st 3lb. So, I’m a stone behind, which is no good. On the other hand, 4lb in 3 weeks is a good, controlled, healthy weight loss. If only it wasn’t for this photoshoot I would feel like I’m failing right now!

I’ve got 14 days left. To reach my wedding weight, I’d need to lose 1.86lbs a day. Clearly not going to happen. So I’ll just have to up the gymwork, lower my fatty and sugary food intake, and see how I get along.

Day 28/35: Wednesday 11th February
Original goal: 14st 5lb
Current weight loss trend: 16st 1lb
?Possible attainable goal: 15st 10lb (1lb per day)

© 2015 Bryan A. J. Parry

Fatty Parry 3: Mission Impossible (Day 14 of 30)


As you know from my previous posts (Fatty Parry & Fatty Parry 2: Mission Impossible (Day 6 of 30)), I’ve basically grown sick of being a fatty. And I’m particularly upset that, on my wedding day a mere 16 months ago, I was the handsome 14st 5lb guy in black you see above — but as of January 2015, I was the bloated 16st 7lb chubbster you see next to him. What’s more, I’ve got a photoshoot soon (don’t ask), and I simply need to slim down and get into shape for that. Only 30 days to lose 30lbs. No biggie(!)

In my last update, I vowed to stick to three biscuits a day with my tea and double my gym work. Here’s how I’m getting on.

Day 7 and 8, I did what I said I would: doubled the gym work, ate almost no crap. Tragically, I’ve become ill with a rather nasty cold. That, combined with working a seventy hour week and literally having had no days off, has meant my body has genuinely not been well enough to work out. Today (Day 14) was my first gym session since day 8.

I’ve also not stuck to my junk food goal. Yes, my food has been better and, yes, I’ve over-eaten less, but my wife’s Mum and her boss separately decided to send large packets of cakes and sweets to our flat… for me!!! What on earth!?? Neither sends me such stuff normally, so it’s crazy that at this moment such a thing would happen. Oh, temptation…

Anyway… my weight…

Remember, a mere three days of gymwork out of 8, and my weight is now… I don’t know! The scales in the gym are all not working!

My goal for next week? The same as last week: 2 hours gym on my days off, 30′ work gym on my days at work, and ALMOST NO JUNK FOOD. This week, I’ve actually got to make sure I stick to this!

Date: 4th February 2015 (Day 21/30)
Weight: 16st

© 2015 Bryan A. J. Parry

Project Polyglot Parry Update: January 2015


I’m a real language lover. Therefore, I’ve always wanted to be fluent in several languages. Unfortunately, aged thirty and after many, many false starts, I’m still only fluent in English! But hitting thirty has me determined that I will achieve my life goals — including fluency in several languages.

To keep my language learning on track, I’m doing regular updates. Read the first post Project Polyglot Parry here.

I’m very proud to say that I’ve completed the English>Spanish tree in Duolingo! :-D They even gave me this handsome (virtual) trophy!


Apparently I can now read 66.7% of all real written Spanish.

My next goal is to complete the Duolingo Swedish tree / course. At my current rate of two sessions a day, I reckon I can finish the Swedish tree by around 1st June. And after that, I want to get to the maximum level possible on Duolingo in Spanish: level 25 (that’ll take a while, though).

© 2015 Bryan A. J. Parry

Fatty Parry 2: Mission Impossible (Day 6 of 30)


As I outlined in my last post, Fatty Parry, I have set myself certain fitness and weight loss goals. The first goal is to get back down to my wedding weight / shape: 14st 5lb (201lb, 92kg). When I made that post six days ago, I was 16st 7lb (231lb, 105kg) — the fattest I’ve ever been. And there’s another problem — other than my rapidly clogging arteries, that is: I had a photoshoot (seriously, don’t ask!) in thirty days’ time.

Yeah, that’s thirty pounds in thirty days I’ve got to lose. I don’t know if such a weight loss is possible; it certainly can’t be done healthily. But I have got to give it a go.

This week I went to the gym for the first time in seven weeks. I’ve been five days out of the last seven. I mean business!

My weight on the 15th January: 16st 7lb (231lb, 105kg)
My weight on the 20th January: 16st 6lb (230lb)

So, it’s heartening to know I’ve lost some weight, if only a mere sixteen ounces! (Oh God! A “pound” sounds reasonable, but when you say “sixteen ounces”, it sounds petty weak!) Unfortunately, I should have lost 6lb if I want to get to my target weight in time for this photoshoot. Yeah…

This week I’ve only done an hour of cardio per visit to the gym, albeit extremely hard and fast cycling. I’ve also not completely cut out sweets etc. So starting from tomorrow, (1) I will limit my rubbish food intake to three biscuits a day with my tea, (2) I will up my gym output to two hours: 75′ cardio and 45′ weights, and (3) I will also attend the work gym on my three long days (14 hour shifts!) for a total of 30′.

I’ll update this every week. See how I get on! And wish me luck willpower!

NEXT UPDATE: Wednesday 28th January (Day 14)
Target Weight Loss: around 10lb

© 2015 Bryan A. J. Parry

Je Suis Charlie & The Pope’s Epic Fail

Pope Francis

It was only a matter of time before the contrarian intellectualist backlash against Charlie Hebdo began. The body of Charlie Hebdo‘s murdered editor Stéphane Charbonnier is barely even cold, and incredibly not even buried yet(!), but none-the-less one of the original founders of the magazine, Henri Roussel, felt compelled to criticise Chabonnier’s decision to post the now infamous cartoons.

What made him feel the need to drag the team into overdoing it? He shouldn’t have done it, but Charb did it again a year later, in September 2012 … I believe that we [were] fools who took an unnecessary risk. That’s it. We think we are invulnerable. For years, decades even, it was a provocation, and then one day the provocation turns against us … I know it’s not done … [but] I really hold it against you [Charbonnier]. [link]

This is, of course, bollocks. Nobody deserves to be shot dead for printing or saying anything. Roussel, could you have not waited a respectful period before spouting this nonsense (e.g. after the funeral, perchance)?

Luckily, organised religion is always nearby to save the day when mankind is in need of sanity. The Pope said this:

If my good friend Dr Gasparri says a curse word against my mother, he can expect a punch. It’s normal. It’s normal. You cannot provoke. You cannot insult the faith of others. You cannot make fun of the faith of others … There is a limit. Every religion has its dignity … in freedom of expression there are limits. [link]

That’s right, folks: the Pope used the same justification that rapists and wife-beaters employ the world over. Well, look at how high her dress is: she was just ASKING for it! The stupid bitch MADE me do it!

Organised religion, you fail. Again. Why is organised religion never there when we need it, but always there AFTERWARDS to do the handwringing and soul-searching?

Yeah, we WERE complicit in the Holocaust, both directly through our support of the Nazi regime and indirectly through our constant stirring up of anti-Jewish feeling which exists EVEN IN OUR FOUNDATIONAL TEXT (!) [see the Gospel of John], but, ya know, we feel we’ve really grown from this experience. 

Some half-senile old crank cartoonist can criticise whoever he wants. He’s wrong, of course. But the spiritual and political leader of around a quarter of the world’s population, a man who wields both spiritual and temporal power as a head of state, a man who rannks among the most influential on the face of the earth — he should know better.

The thing is, organised religion is like all good scams. The pope and all his kind can say or do whatever they want and the mud just won’t stick. He kisses a deformed man once, and apparently he’s flawless.

Dear Francis:

You did not say that the Charlie Hebdo staff deserved to die, I grant you that. But by saying that nobody has the right to criticise religion, you (1) declare your ignorant pre-enlightenment mindset which has not quite grasped the basics of what makes a free and prosperous society possible, and (2) you offer extenuating circumstances to those terrorist, murdering scumbags — you do, in fact, offer the same justification as the rapist and the wife-beater. You are therefore both spiritually and intellectually incapable of being a leader to billions — although, ironically, perfectly suited to being head of the Roman Catholic church — and you gravely let down mankind with your unhelpful and hindersome words.

featured image from

© 2015 Bryan A. J. Parry


Fatty Parry


On Christmas Day, conversation turned to my wedding last year. One of my uncles said that I had never looked better than on my wedding day. Another said I had looked like “an actual real model”. At that time, I had slimmed down to 14st 5lb (201lb, around 92kg). I was still overweight, but I was trimmer than I had been since I was around 20 years old.

Svelte Parry: My Previous "Model" Look, 4th Oct 2013

Svelte Parry: My Previous “Model” Look, 4th Oct 2013

But since the wedding, I have ballooned. Lack of regular gym work plus a slack diet have meant that I am now 16st 7lb (231lb, 105kg). That is quite literally the fattest I have ever been. The phrase, “All bought and paid for” springs to mind.

Well, I’m sick of this. I am comfortable with myself and not especially vain. So I’ve never been massively bothered. But I do need to take care of myself; I’m 30 now, and it’s only going to get harder to stay healthy. My lower legs joints are already half-f*cked, and I sweat when I walk — how am I going to handle a couple of kids and the shopping?


  • will get down to a healthy weight. For my size and build, I know that is, at max, 13st 7lb, ideally around 12st 7lb – 13st.
  • will achieve this weight loss, combined with general increases in strength and stamina and general wellbeing, by going to the gym a minimum of three times per week, using  my workplace gym daily for 30′ intense sessions, and eating more healthily.
  • will achieve this weight loss by the end of the year; I want to go back down to 14st 5lb by mid-February (as I have a photoshoot; don’t ask!). Hopefully I can get down to 13st 7lb by June, but the key is to do it healthily; so if it takes till December or beyond for me to reach 13st 7lb, then so be it. So long as I am making constant progress.

In order to motivate myself, I will be updating this every month.

Oh yeah, and I’ll also be posting these pics up to remind me to GET A GRIP:

Super Sexy New Look Me: 4th January 2015, 16st 7lbs.

Super Sexy New Look Me: 12th January 2015, 16st 7lbs.

Ooh, Mama! Come get me while I'm young and hawt!

Ooh, Mama! Come get me while I’m young and hawt!

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© 2014 – 2015 Bryan A. J. Parry